Please practice good presentation skills put your name, students number and page number on every page.
There are multiple issues with the structure of this essay. You see to have done a lot of research but are having problems bringing the information together in an organised and coherent written style. There is much repetition of ideas and varying definitions around the same concept. There is also a large amount of irrelevant information.
You do not seem to have unpacked the question nor identified the central idea of your essay clearly. This has meant your essay is repetitive and does not adequately address the entire question.
Do not use references more than 10 years old unless they are primary source documents.
You must get support in structuring and organising ideas into an appropriate essay form. You need to continue to work on improving your written English language skills.
I will send you the previous one that I submitted. Please help me to edit this one.
