Author: admin

Please give a psychological analysis of this statement below……
I am going to address my own personal experience of living with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and how these factors affect my anxiety and my life.”Free floating anxiety must be accompanied by at least three of the following symptoms: (1) restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge (2) being easily fatigued (3) difficulty concentrating or mind going blank (4) irritability (5) muscle tension (6) sleep disturbance”. I recognized at a young age that I suffer from major depressive disorder. It first onset at age 11 when I started experiencing suicidal ideations after being bullied for a long period of time at school. Looking back on my childhood now though, I realized that my anxiety disorder long preceded that. I recall having excessive worrying thoughts all the time about something bad happening: an attempted kidnapping, someone breaking into my home, anything that would separate me from my family. I have had night terrors from as early on as I can remember and they are always related to my deepest seated fears of something happening to someone I love, being chased or suffocated, trying to call out for someone but not being able to because fear has rendered me without a voice, someone breaking into my home, or something along those lines. Since I’ve had children, my dreams are now in regards to something happening to them. I wake up screaming, crying, or in a panic and it takes me a good hour or longer to calm down enough to go back to bed. I toss and turn and never feel like I get solid rest so I’m constantly exhausted throughout the day. Genetics definitely play a role in my comorbidity as major depressive disorder runs in my family on both my mother’s and father’s side. Stressful life events also play a huge role in exacberating my everyday symptoms, which are semi-managable, into something that can completely overtake my life. For example, I’ve always had anxiety when it comes to my husband’s job, he’s a law enforcement officer and he works a VERY rough area. He’s been nearly beaten to death, stabbed, hit by a car at about 45mph, and shot at multiple times in his near decade of service, not to mention that fights are almost a nightly occurence. Everything about his job scares me as he could be taken away from me and our three daughters at any moment. Recent events and this new war on cops has heightened my anxiety though, mostly due to the sense of lack of control. Law enforcement officers are being murdered and assassinated doing completely normal everyday things: pumping gas, eating lunch in their patrol car, going home. These are not things that the cops are doing wrong in their line of duty or anything that could have been avoided. That is what scares me the most. My husband works graveyards and I stay up all night, or nearly all night, despite knowing I have to be up all day with a toddler because I dread getting that phone call or knock at the door telling me something has happened to my husband. I avoid watching the news as it angers me beyond belief and makes my fears ten times worse. I watch the police funerals on tv and bawl my eyes out as my heart breaks for these families and I pray I’m not ever in that position. The constant restlessness, worrying, and lack of sleep makes it difficult for me to function during the day. I have a million things on my mind at any given moment, from bills, to school, to work, to cleaning the house, planning out dinners, therapy appointments, my husband’s work schedule, the kid’s school schedule, etc, etc. It never feels like there are enough hours in the day and I never feel like I get anything accomplished despite feeling like I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off all day long. I am also extremely attentive to threat cues and have sensitive fear pathways, especially at night. I have an irrational fear that more crime happens at night, so while I’m attentive to threat cues during the day I’m ultrasensitive at night. I fear the night time because in the dark is where the unknown lies and that’s terrifying. Something could be lurking right beyond your vision and you would not be aware of it. These are the type of anxieties that I deal with. I prefer sleeping with the dogs in the house, my gun loaded on my cabinet next to my bed, and my daughter in bed with me on the nights my husband works. I feel like if someone was to break into the house the only way they could get to her is through me, in contrast to her being in her room down the hall where I would have to reach her before they did. Due to these fears I avoid things like scary movies and haunted houses at all costs. I try to avoid doing things alone in the dark, whether it’s going for a run or just going out to get the mail. When I’m walking to my car at night, I’m always prepared for someone to jump out and attack me so I keep a sharp key or object in my hand to use as a makeshift weapon if need be. I am constantly searching for threat cues because if I feel like I have an upper hand in the situation then I feel more in control or prepared and ultimately less anxious. I know that so many of these fears are irrational and my husband tells me all the time that I’m paranoid, which is completely true, but it’s something I’ve lived with and suffered through my entire life so even though I feel legitimately crazy about 99% of the time, I don’t know anything different.