Overview of Submission, Quality of Research and Analysis
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This is a nicely written and constructed essay. You’ve researched it well and show good understanding of the concepts you’re reflecting on. However, the essay is not sufficiently directed towards the question. It starts off well, but then doesn’t examine enough the characteristics of a buzzword and then use those to examine your chosen words. So, what is it about participation and empowerment as buzzwords that matters? Is it the fact that there are different interpretations? Vague definitions? Apolitical (i.e. neutral) and encouraging? etc. The essay would have received a mark in the early to mid pass range.
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Evidence of Key Skills
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The essay has a good structure and you have a good style of writing. Many places needed more references though and try to avoid making sweeping statements that you can’t support.
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Potential Areas for Improvement
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Given your good style of writing, I’m confident that you can get a better mark through orienting the essay more directly towards the question. That is, bring out the characteristics of buzzwords more clearly and in more detail and use those to reflect critically on your chosen words, with examples. Draw on a wider range of sources, particularly academic sources.(that was the feedback i got from the essay)
