Journal 5

Part 1/Page 1:

Choose either the Knapp Model or Rawlin’s Model to map a romantic or friendship relationship of your choice. You can map as much of the relationship as you

want but you must for each step of your relationship to this point list an example of how that relationship formed, maintained, or terminated. Some steps

may have happened pretty close together and/or some steps may not have happens yet (termination steps).


Initiation: I met my husband, at a college event where I saw him standing on a table wearing a girl’s hat and scarf and dancing an Irish jig. I thought he

was funny and attractive, so later that night I maneuvered my way into a conversation with group of people that included Grant so I could meet him. I only

knew one person there and was planning on leaving right away, but I ended up staying and playing some game with everyone but it was really only because of


* Interesting in our relationship we went from initiation to experimentation to straight avoiding because he ended up back with his ex-girlfriend and she

was super jealous of him talking to any girl, but we ran in the same circles so it was weird. After they broke up we went back to experimentation stage and

moved on from there. So your relationship may not follow a sequential pattern but most of our relationships do follow that pattern.

Part 2/Page 2:

Write about your relationship based on the model and the place you are at for your relationship. Things you can write about:

What were some of the things that attracted you to that relationship?
What are the rewards that you gain from the relationship?
Depending on the step you are at – what would you need to do to get to the next step? (you can include vocab/concepts from other chapters we have covered

like disclosure, listening and nonverbal communication)
What is your love language and what is your partners – how can you communicate your love?
What are the relational maintenance strategies that you want to work on this summer?


Relationship Models
• All these models have a lot of similarities. Each also have limits to explaining relationships
Knapp’s Model
Has limits to explaining friendship relationships and some of the ebb and flow of relationships. Often you can be in one of the stages but some of the

other stages may also be present. Some stages you may move through pretty quickly but they will be present.

The top four (4-7) are where the relational maintenance would happen.
Dialectical Model
Conflicts arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously. (Think tug-of-war) These tensions are constantly changing where the point of

tension may be at in the relationship and each relationship you have is different for where the tension might be.
*Often dialectical tensions are only referred to by the internal manifestations: Connection vs Autonomy, Predictability vs Novelty and Openness vs Privacy

Integration vs Separation
Connection vs Autonomy – The needs of having a separate identity (independence and autonomy) and connections with others.
Inclusion vs Seclusion – desire for involvement with the outside world with the desire to live their own lives
Stability vs Change
Predictability vs Novelty – The needs of having a stable, known relationship vs not being bored in the relationship and having the unpredictable and new.
Conventionality vs Uniqueness – the needs of other peoples expectations (that tend to be conventional and sometimes stifling) with the needs of being an

unique individual in a unique relationship.
Expression vs Privacy
Openness vs Privacy (Closedness)
Revelation vs Concealment
Management of Dialectical Tensions
• Denial
• Disorientation
• Alternation
• Segmentation
• Balance
• Integration
• Recalibration
• Reaffirmation

Devito’s 6-stage Model of Relationships (not in text)
Read about it here (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site.. This model emphasizes the making and breaking of relationships – a little better

about allowing for romantic and friendship relationships.
1. Contact
2. Involvement
3. Intimacy
4. Deterioration
5. Repair
6. Dissolution
Content and Relational Messages
Content messages are about the information being exchanged but all messages have a relational dynamic, which are messages that make statements about the

speakers feel towards one another.
• Nonverbal – but this can be ambiguous and not intentional
• Metacommunication – messages that refer to other messages